To be or Not to be?

I’ll admit it…I want to be noticed too.

I have formulated a (50-year) theory about human beings of which has yet to be disproven. This concept is the primary overarching theme for all Homo sapiens on this glorious blue planet - and that is simply: to Matter.

There are other words in the English language that get close, but don’t quite describe our mutual unconscious, life-long, need to matter - such as, to be: significant, important, vital, valuable, worthy, essential, key, and focal. I choose the word “matter” because it is simply and universally understood. Think about it; have you ever found yourself questioning your miserable existence? Have you ever decided to do something (anything) merely to have others “notice” that you (personally) haven’t left the struggle?

To fully understand and embrace this concept about oneself is to finally come to grips with previously erratic and inexplicable personal behavior.  In other words; relax and give in to it…there’s nothing you can do.  It is akin to accepting the daily tides, annual migration, and that gas prices always go up.

Knowing about (and believing in) this particular inalienable driving force of human nature will provide answers to a multitude of seemingly random personal choices.  It explains tattoos, body piercings, ear lobe gauging, radically colorful hair, myriad varieties of unconventional dress, the joining of cults, participation in protest movements, call-in talk radio shows, comments to on-line articles, blogging, Facebook, My Space, and Twitter.  It brings clarity to the motivation behind overachieving athletes, budding cinema stars and nerdy scientists.

These observances of the insatiable need to matter encompass all ages, races, creeds, genders, and sexual orientation.  No one is immune.  From the person who jumps from a bridge with a bungee cord attached to their ankles, to the one that jumps without.  From the successful professional championship team to the plain and simple discalced friar who discovers a tasty new variety of wine-producing grapes.  From the stay-at-home Mom that wins the blueberry pie contest at the state fair to the top-notch executive who implements an innovative company resource-saving idea.  Don’t exclude the inner-city youth who shows the rest of the neighborhood kids the loose grating on the drainage ditch that allows undetected travel throughout the city, or the group of bystanders who lift a burning car from a trapped motorcyclist.  In their own ways, these individuals have found ways (if only for a brief moment) to matter to the rest of their peers.

Is it healthy to attempt to matter?

That’s a good question.  Ask the car bomber if it was in the world’s best interest that he chose to end lives and spread havoc to further his chosen cause.  Get an opinion from the coach of a state championship team as to the difference they made in the lives of the participants.  Query a teenager sitting in the tattooist’s chair (for their fourth inked design) if they are gratified by showing off the result of their investment.  I frankly don’t know what carefully considered rationale you’ll get from them; however I expect they’ll be extremely passionate about their actions.  See mattering doesn't have to be big...it can be something subtle, but something that makes one stand out and become visibly special to others.  We crave it above all else.

I believe on the whole (with some obvious exceptions) that it IS healthy to aspire to matter, and to furthermore be educationally tolerant with those who are struggling with understanding the concept.  With youth, that means explaining that they are an extraordinary person regardless of the trappings of expensive physical alterations.  Granted that’s a tall order in today’s instantly broadcast society which glorifies the unconventional; but an important one at that.  Adults require validation too.  The workplace; where most of us spend the majority of our time, is a perfect environment in which to acknowledge the efforts placed on mattering.  A few simple words of encouraging acknowledgement to humans act as warming sunshine does to struggling plant life.

Think about that toddler who beamingly displays their new shoes to all in the room and understand that it's in all of us from the beginning.  So the next time someone you feel ignored and insignificant and someone finally notices enough to ask you, “What’s the matter?” Stand tall and answer confidently (if not mysteriously), “I AM and I DO!”

PS: I got new vanity plates for the white pick-up truck...SEE?  In other words; Look at Me!